OK, color me stupid. Seriously (or Jenny McCarthy is hot!)

When I read this Reuters story's headline "Judge halts New York plan to turn yellow cabs green," I freaked out. I thought, "Wait, no! You can't turn NYC cabs from yellow to green — that would be a sacrilegious outrage!!" Of course, that's not what the story is actually about. It's about making the city's cabs eco-friendly. lol.

I mean, maybe this isn't funny to anybody else but me. But then again, it IS my blog.

And ABC did have a successful seven-year run with their popular sitcom "Three's Company," where each episode would revolve around some misunderstanding between one character and everybody else on the show, from which a great amount of zaniness and Jack Tripper one-line whoppers would flow, until eventually, the issue was resolved in the waning moments, an important life lesson was learned, everyone would hug — but Jack still failed to get into Chrissy's pants.... so, you know, I've got that working for me, too.



(OK, that wasn't a real Three's Company clip, because they are no where to be found online. It was a parady from the old Jenny McCarthy Show on MTV — although it DID include Suzanne "Buy My ThighMaster!" Sommers. And quite frankly, any excuse to watch Jenny McCarthy do anything, sounds like a good idea to me — meow!)

Touch screen voting: Totally flip-ping out

This is an interesting article on the problems with touch screen voting machines. Personally, I think it's a combination of poor calibration, user error and dirty tricks — which begs the question: if there are so many problems with these damn machines, and they are easily manipulated to steal (aka "flip") votes, why the hell are we even using them?

Eyebrow raiser: "The nature of a touch-screen device [is that], like any other device, there can be an instance where it's not operating properly. What the majority of our jurisdictions find is that where 'vote flipping' ... or mis-selection is occurring ... in the vast majority of cases they find that the calibration is not out of specification."

Hmmmmm...

Why are people in Afghanistan facing starvation this winter — and not a peep out of reporters here in the US?

I don't have anything funny to say about this. WTF?!? I mean, this think tank is calling for a Berlin Airlift-like effort so that people won't starve and freak out and send the country spiraling out of control, making it even more unstable than it already is. Man.

Eyebrow raiser: "It says food shortages now represented a greater threat to Afghanistan than the Taliban insurgency."

... oh, btw, there is a shit storm of trouble in the Congo. Not that anyone in the American press would care to report about that either.

I mean, I know that we are all tangled up in the election over the past few months — me included — but there is an entire world out there where important and amazing things happen, that we, as readers and listeners and viewers of the news should be informed about. Because whether we like it or not, we are all affected by world events. You know? I just wish our own press would make an effort to cover the world beyond the Atlantic and the Pacific sometime. Sigh.

(OK, back down off my soapbox for the night.)

Could CSPAN's Supreme Court coverage go blue?

This just cracks me up, especially the thought of Chief Justice Roberts really thinking this one over, oh boy. Like he doesn't have anything else better to do, you know, like... think of iron-clad legal arguments to overturn Roe v Wade or suspend habeus corpus or laugh about how that crazy GWB-lovin' biatch Harriet Myers almost got his job.

Best line: "It's going to sound like a bunch of goddamned longshoremen or hard-boiled crime reporters up in there—only uttered by white-shoe barristers whose education costs are triple your net worth"

LIVE BLOGGING: Obama infomercial

It was almost as if I was right there too...

LIVE BLOGGING: Obama infomercial

"Ehhhh... forgettaboutit!"

LIVE BLOGGING: Obama infomercial

I think that the real secret about Barack Obama is not that he's a
socialist, it's that he's Italian. Look at that pisano talk with his
hands!

Sent from my iPhone

My favorite drunk brilliant British guy on Palin...

... via Scott Bateman animation and Salon.com.

Best line (via the scroll below): "Larry King: Fruit flies not funny; fruit flies killed at least 12 of his wives."

Because I care...

... I'm sharing this. And yes, you're welcome.

Best line: "C'mon you tree-hugging hippie! What are you waiting for — congressional approval?!?"

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

This time it's Wilkerson's, not Victoria's, Secret

Oh boy. Massachusetts state Sen. Dianne Wilkerson is in a shit load. The Democratic lawmaker was busted by the FBI for taking bribes, and at one point, stuffing the cash money in her bra — which, of course, was caught on video tape.

I thought that that was something they only do in movies. But apparently, it's something senators do all the time, when they are taking bribes... well, state senators... in Massachusetts... when they are named Dianne.... Wilkerson...

Best line: "She also said 'I've been beating people up' for action, and spoke of 'people who's knees I had to crack,' according to the complaint."

(Nice lady. I'll bet she drinks the milk right out of the carton, too.)

Public letter of apology to my lil' blog

Dear Lil' Blog,

I am sorry. I have so neglected you over the past two weeks. Please don't be sad, or angry, with me. It wasn't intentional. Here, please except this musical apology while I work on some smart and sassy posts.

Signed,

She Who Thinks The Thoughts And Then Writes Them Down



(And doesn't Feist rule?!?)

This debate (yawn)

Watching my dog eat stale, old french fries off the sidewalk is more
exciting than this debate. Sigh...

LIVE BLOGGING: McCain/Obama 2

It's ten o'clock: do you know where your exciting presidential
candidates who know how to debate are? Oh yeah. That's right. Hillary
lost the primary. Sigh...

Sent from my iPhone

LIVE BLOGGING: McCain/Obama 2

What is with mccains Scripto pens? Who uses a scripto to take notes?

If at the end of the debate he makes a sign with one of those pens,
like "TKO" or something, and then prances around the stage with it --
thats it. I'm voting for Joe Walsh.

LIVE BLOGGING: mccain/obama2

Um, ok. It's official. The first 21 minutes of this debate is a
snooze-fest. Sigh. Can't one of these ambitious, ego-driven guys throw
a little red meat to the people?!?

How about lighting yourself on fire? Swallowing a sword? Or a card trick?... I hear Intervention calling...

Sent from my iPhone

LIVE BLOGGING: McCain/Obama 2

I would like Obama to know that actually, yes, I am "interested in
watching politicians point fingers at each other." Thats called
entertainment.

Sent from my iPhone

LIVE BLOGGING: McCain/Obama 2

OK. I'm sorry. But the red carpet has to go. Seriously.

Sent from my iPhone

LIVE BLOGGING: mccain/obama2

OK. First thought that popped in my head: McCain needs to unbutton
that last button on his suit coat. It's pressing on the old man tire
round his belly. I find it unnerving.

Sent from my iPhone

I now officially strongly dislike this woman with every fiber in my being (aka I hate her).

I have had it with this woman. Had it. She is "annoyed" with Karie Couric? WTF?!?!?!?!

I actually met Couric a few times, in the mid-1990s, when I was working at an indoor playground in the Upper West Side of New York. She used to bring her daughter in there in the afternoons, when it wasn't too busy. And she was very cool, never took herself too seriously (unlike some of the other celebrities who would pop in from time to time), and she was actually a genuinely funny person.

And while Couric is sweet and funny (you know you hearted her on the Today Show, people), and does her best to be a serious journalist, she never plays hardball. And in her inteviews with Palin last week, she asked basic, un-loaded questions that Palin failed to answer — in fact, butchered — because Zamboni Head is clueless.

You're not dumb, CB, you're just uninterested. And so, Palin-ating Princess of Power, I say unto you, in the words of my personal hero Chelsea Handler: "Suck it!!!"

Or, I could let another former beauty queen put it to you a little more politely:



(Or, there is always dear, misguided HoHan. Who apparently was "shocked" by McCain's picking Palin as his VP. lol, I don't know why that cracks me up, it just does . Oh boy, I'm such a nerd.)

Ooops, they did it again.

Oh boy. This campaign has really laid some doozies, but this takes the cake. Because it's the second time they have published an online ad saying how great their candidate was — before the debate even happened!

And ok, I am sure that the Obama/Biden people have the same flack crap lined up in advance, too. But at least they don't pre-release it before the debates, and they didn't make the same mistake twice. Oh lord, sigh... Please. Don't. Let. Them. Win.

Best line (from comment below): "What if the famous person was Amy Winehouse?"

(And just because I like to keep my site content rich, how about a little Britney (ok, as done by some wacko guy who posted his video take online, but whatever!), as she is a big, bad-assed drug-addled fan of Bush & Co anyhow — remember?!?)

It's Friday Campers — and that means it's Kreepy Kats Time!

A short, but nasty one for all of you. As always, stolen each week from Gawker.com.

Best line: "She speaks to the Main Street beneath my Granny Panties."

LIVE BLOGGING: vp debate

My suspicions, confirmed.

LIVE BLOGGING: vp debate

This just in: a well-placed source (on their couch watching the
debate, hey that's a s-well place to be tonight), reports that Palin
may be cheating via the use of a Blackberry. Hmmmm...

Sent from my iPhone

LIVE BLOGGING: vp debate

"Sat it ain't so, Joe." Oh gawd. How long has she been holding on to
that one?

Sent from my iPhone

LIVE BLOGGING: vp debate

Well, she definitely is prepared with prepackaged and frozen answers
that she can just whip out, reheat and then speak as needed.

Also, Palin seems rather spunky and super verbal. My guess: on her way to the debate, she stopped off at the Mobile on the corner and
slammed one of those Five Hour Energy things they sell at the counter.

I'm just saying.

Sent from my iPhone

LIVE BLOGGING: vp debate

Hezbollah. Shezbollah. Youzbollah Wezallbollah.

Sent from my iPhone

LIVE BLOGGING: vp debate

Palin also wins points for giving the Frenchie pronunciation of
"naivete." She's classy, this basketball broad from the great white
north. Eh?

Sent from my iPhone

LIVE BLOGGING: vp debate

OMG. Could that flag broach be any bigger? And what is that thing, a
musical note? Lord. Well, at least she won the whole "my flag pin is
bigger than your flag pin" battle. Here here.

LIVE BLOGGING: vp debate

Awww, Caribou Barbie, you are so sweet, I can't believe that you would
be willing to "tolerate" the fact that me, and other homos like me,
exist. What a gal.

Sent from my iPhone

LIVE BLOGGING: vp debate

Biden has scary vampire eyebrows tonight. However, the aren't as
frightening as the things that are falling out of Caribou Barbie's
mouth.

Sent from my iPhone

LIVE BLOGGING: vp debate

"... rear that head of use..." WTF? Oh boy, lady, sigh...

Sent from my iPhone

LIVE BLOGGING: vp debate

OK. I just got home so I've missed the first few minutes.

Initial observations: Palin is a fembot and must be destroyed, and
Ifills jacket really must go. What was she thinking?

Sent from my iPhone

Senate passes (out after) bailout bill

Well, it passed. I guess that's the difference between a governing body that serves six years instead of two — the majority of which are up for re-election next month.

I actually think that the bill will fail again Friday in the House. But then, what do I know, I was country when wasn't country was cool. Whoot!

The Onion: Members Of Twisted Sister Now Willing To Take It

I am sorry, you will soon find out that I *heart* The Onion. And this brief, omg, I had to post — just had to... please pass the Aquanet.

Oh and just in case you were born after 1980, here is the original video from MTV.

Best line: "I know what that is... that's music..." lol



(And let me tell you, this dad in this video sounds a lot like my mom when I was 16, trust me — and let me tell you another thing, my mom did, in fact, carry an M-16, I have the shrapnel to prove it... to know me is to love me, lol.)

McCain gets hot under the collar during Des Moines Register interview

Oh, Sam Stein has the video and excellent commentary on the Des Moines Register editorial board's interview Monday with John McCain on HuffingtonPost.com. The candidate, who is famous for his quick temper, gets visibly upset with the questioners. I love it.

Best line: "I have never been an astronaut, but I think I know the challenges of space."

(And come to think of it, I have never been to me, and yet I know who I am. How McCainian of me, eh?!?)